Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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