im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
