birth control should be required to get into college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
