If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm having to shit out rocks
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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