i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
