He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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