It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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