im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
