just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
