I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Quick, to the slutcave!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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