i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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