My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Randomize
