Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
