Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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