I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
