He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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