If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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