oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
