I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
