Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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