I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize