you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
