I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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