she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
