You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
