You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize