I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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