Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
