my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
