Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
