Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
