No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize