I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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