Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
