Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
