i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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