If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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