I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I forget how to act sober
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