I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
