He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
