I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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