sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
