He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry about my life...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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