I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
