Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
