Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
