is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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