Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
