Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
