Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

Fav 35 7204 909
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(613): View more from Ontario

If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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(443): View more from Maryland

i drank out of a bidet.

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(515): View more from Iowa

When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.

Fav 7 2194 846
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...

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(425): View more from Washington

Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".

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