what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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