it's not cheating when I paid for it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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