WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need to wash the frat house off of me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
