omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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