we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
