I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
