Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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