it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i will never coherently bang her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
