Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
