I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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