office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
